If you remember your Psychology 101 class from college, you may have heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Even though it’s not perfect, the Hierarchy of Needs provides a nice visually blueprint for self care and improvement. Create your SAHM hierarchy of needs with the tips below to set yourself up for further rediscovery.

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Because this is such a personalized theory, use the ideas below as guidelines to discover your hierarchy of needs. Be sure to ready about the extended and updated Hierarchy of Needs at the bottom of this post on Simply Psychology. It is full of great examples to help guide you.

What is the Hierarchy of Needs

The Hierarchy of Needs is a psychology theory developed by Maslow. It is a pyramid of needs each person has that builds on itself. Above is an example of the Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. There is an interesting thing about the bottom 4 tiers, called deficiency needs. When you are deficient in them, you are automatically motivated to meet them. Self actualization, on the other hand, is a growth need and you are more motivated to reach it as you start seeing growth.

Maslow continued to update his theory for 30+ years. “Maslow noted that the order of needs might be flexible based on external circumstances or individual differences. For example, he notes that for some individuals, the need for self-esteem is more important than the need for love. For others, the need for creative fulfillment may supersede even the most basic needs.” (Read more at Simply Psychology)

SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

The stay-at-home mom hierarchy of needs is a little different because it gets at the heart of what we’re doing with the rediscovery of yourself after marriage and motherhood. Namely, the esteem and love/belonging tiers are switched. It holds with the belief that you cannot have truly meaningful relationships without loving and caring for yourself first.

If you don’t fulfill this need first, you can find yourself in the wrong relationships and groups later on. Don’t worry, we’ll cover outgrowing relationships later in the series. Until then, focus on taking care of the relationship with yourself.

How to Use the SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

Use the SAHM hierarchy of needs as a blueprint for healthy living. We are going to focus on the esteem need because that is where most moms have lost their way. Specifically, how “dignity, achievement, and independence” (Simply Psychology) apply to stay-at-home moms.

Independence

While you might be financially dependent on your husband, there are many other areas in which you can and should find independence. This includes having hobbies and friends of your own. It also means taking responsibility of your emotions. This is a trap that moms can fall into. Your kids are being crazy all day then your husband comes home in a bad mood. Suddenly you find yourself grumpy and grouchy for the rest of the evening.

Instead, own your emotions. Allow yourself to be frustrated by the day but then move on and turn it around. Actively seek out hobbies that you do alone. Catch up with friends without your husband sometimes. These are the ways that you reclaim your independence.

Dignity

Dignity comes in many forms all of which inevitably lead back to knowing yourself. Don’t get caught in the habit of always complaining about life, yourself, or others in your conversations. Focus on the positive aspects your life and relationships. Read more about dignity here.

Your attitude, actions, and integrity all contribute to developing dignity.

Achievement

Achievement is a wonderful motivator for other areas of your life. Because of this I recommend taking some time to write some of your achievements in your journal. These achievements can be big or small. For example, saving your family money by creating and sticking to a meal plan is an awesome achievement. Equally, taking 20 minutes yesterday to take a bath and read a book is also an achievement.

Once you’ve done that, think about some other things you would like to achieve. Again, these can be as big or as small as you want. Maybe you want to finally learn a new language or lose that extra 10 pounds (or 50 if you’re like me). Whatever it is, working towards the achievement is the perfect way to focus on yourself in a constructive and helpful way.

After you create your SAHM hierarchy of needs, refer back to it often to ensure that you are working towards fulfilling your esteem need and, later, fulfilling your love/belonging need. Tomorrow we’ll talk about The Hard Truth About Carving Out Me Time. It’s the next step to taking time for yourself on your journey of rediscovery.

See where I’m linking up!

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Do you often catch yourself saying negative statements to and about yourself? What if there was a pretty tool that was not only beautiful to look at but also helped improve your self esteem? That is exactly what these DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards are!

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I am super guilty of talking badly to and about myself. Instead of focusing on any one of the amazing traits about me, I have always fixated on the flaws. Even offhand comments were destructive.

Have you ever asked a question that you knew the answer to and simply forgotten? When the person’s answer reminds you, what do you say. “Oh, I’m dumb, I knew that.”

Seriously? Would we talk about anyone else that way? I don’t think so. Something has to give.

I will talk more about how to shut down negative self talk later in the the series but we’re going to start on it today with these DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards.

What Are Positive Affirmations

There are many definitions of what positive affirmations are (especially since they can be so different person to person). Essentially they are phrases that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis that are meant to improve your self-talk, beliefs, and outlook. They can be used in a multitude of ways such as building confidence with people and improving work performance to name a few.

These DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards are meant to bolster your self-confidence and begin improving the way you speak to and about yourself. Read them every day to start truly cementing the beliefs you write down.

DIY Watercolor Positive AFfirmation Cards Materials

Artists Trading Cards
Watercolor Pencils
Water
Paintbrush
Permanent Marker

Step 1

First, remove your artists trading cards from their packaging. You can make as many positive affirmation cards as you want but I recommend no fewer than ten.

Step 2

Next, use your watercolor pencils to draw designs on your cards. These can be as simple or elaborate as you want. I’ve included multiple examples for you above to help with inspiration.

Step 3

After you’ve colored your cards, dip your brush in water and brush over your designs.

Note:

Only add water to one color at a time and rinse your brush between colors. Otherwise you will mix and muddy your colors.

Step 4

Once a design has been brushed with water, set it aside to dry. Continue until all of your cards are completed.

Step 5

After your cards have dried, it is time to add your positive affirmations. You can make these in fun fonts and scripts or simply write them neatly on each card. One affirmation goes on each card with permanent marker.

Note:

If you need help with positive affirmation ideas, I’ve included some below for you.

Positive Affirmation Ideas

Choose affirmations that align with where you want to improve your confidence, self-talk, or emotions. Again, don’t feel the need to use all of these, but choose at least 10 to get you started.

I am a strong and confident woman.
I’m full of energy.
I only speak to myself with love.
I am beautiful.
I’m successful.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve love.
My heart is filled with love and gratitude.
I love myself.
I’m a creative woman.
I am full of confidence.
I feel strong and healthy.
I’m intelligent.
I am motivated.
My life is full of abundance.
I deserve respect.
I love to smile and laugh.
I’m generous.
I let go of past hurt.
I have many talents.
I’m creating the life of my dreams.
I am confident in all situations.
I’m successful in everything that I do.
Trying new things excites me.
I have clarity in all of my decisions.
I deserve my dreams.
My health and wellness is a priority.
I’m a leader.
I speak in love and kindness.
I am productive and tackle tasks with purpose.

Once you have your DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards, don’t forget to pull them out once a day and read them. If you’re on the go a lot, I recommend putting them in your wallet so you always have them with you. Pull them out when you’re in the car at your kid’s practice waiting in the pick up line.

Also, if you find you have trouble remembering to read them daily, set an alarm on your phone. This can be in the morning or in the evening before bed, but set an alarm to remind you to read them. Lastly, I recommend reading them out loud to yourself if possible. There is something powerful about reading them while hearing them said aloud.

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In most of your endeavors in life you want to find a solid accountability partner. This is the person who pushes you and gives you hard truths you need to hear most, even when you don’t want to. That’s how people reach their goals. When you’re in this vulnerable place of rediscovery, I don’t want you to find an accountability partner. I want you to find your cheerleaders.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

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You’ve probably had cheerleaders in your life that phased in and out. These are the friends you had that you could do no wrong with. They called you their best friend even when they weren’t really yours. These relationships never last.

Why? They don’t last because there isn’t a real connection. The entire relationship is lopsided and in your heart of hearts, you can’t trust them. How can you trust someone that always agrees with you, loves what you love (to a scary and false degree), and never thinks you make mistakes? You can’t.

However, when you’re in this raw state of rediscovering yourself after marriage and motherhood, you need to find your cheerleaders who will encourage and support you. That’s not to say you need to go out and find some fake friends to use. That’s not good. Instead, use these tips to find your cheerleaders all around you when you need them most.

Reach Out to Friends

Your existing friends already love you, otherwise, why would you be friends? Start to find your cheerleaders by reaching out to them. Tell them about your journey and invite them to do it with you. Then make a pact with each other to provide loving support throughout this journey. When you journal consistently for 3 days, let them know and give a big “Hooray” and high five each other. When she steps outside of her comfort zone to try a new activity, enthuse about how awesome that is!

This isn’t about falsehood, it’s about camaraderie. It’s about showing enthusiasm for the difficult steps you’re taking to rediscover yourself.

Find New Cheerleaders

As you go on this journey, you may find that some of your friends aren’t as close anymore. I’ll talk about this more in another post but for now understand that this is normal. You are finding who you are in the present and that may be drastically different from who you were.

That’s why it’s important to find new cheerleaders, too. Start by participating in the Instagram challenge to find other women going through the same process you are. Find chicks that vibe with your weird and even start a Facebook group or Instagram group chat to regularly connect with each other.

You don’t have to be face-to-face to have deep and lasting relationships. Oftentimes, in this busy season of life, you don’t even get to see your friends as much as you once did. That’s the beauty of the internet. You can connect with awesome people regularly who get you and bond with you without packing up your kids and leaving the house. That’s awesome!

Be Your Own Cheerleader

I still recommend find 1 or 2 awesome women to help support and cheer you on, but you should totally be your own cheerleader too. Of course, when you’re in those tough moments when you want to fall back on old patterns it’s hard. When you’re going through your clothes and find negative self-talk filtering in your head, it’s hard to be your own cheerleader.

Luckily, I have a trick to help you out in these moments and it’s probably sitting next to you as you read this. It’s your phone. Use the voice recorder on your phone to record you saying positive things to yourself. Here are few ideas in case you need help:

That outfit looks gorgeous on you!
You’re tired of being exhausted and unhappy. You want to live your best life now. That’s why you’re going to stick with this process.
I love how you did your hair today!
That makeup looks stunning!
You are a smart and strong woman. There is nothing you can’t accomplish.

When you’re feeling vulnerable, whip out your phone and play these back to yourself. There’s something powerful about hearing your own voice compliment you.

Use these 3 tips to find your cheerleaders during your rediscovery after marriage and motherhood. They are an important resource to have in your corner. Don’t forget to jump on the Instagram challenge if you haven’t already. It is a great way to find community in this process and it will help you keep showing up and doing the work when it gets tough. I also highly recommend starting small private Facebook groups or a group message on Instagram to connect with each other. Share ideas and thoughts with each other throughout this journey so that you can all come out the other side living your best life ever!

See where I’m linking up!

Create Your SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

What is the Hierarchy of Needs

SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

How to Use the SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

Independence

Dignity

Achievement

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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

DIY Watercolor Positive Affirmation Cards

What Are Positive Affirmations

DIY Watercolor Positive AFfirmation Cards Materials

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Note:

Step 4

Step 5

Note:

Positive Affirmation Ideas

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

3 Tips to Find Your Cheerleaders

Reach Out to Friends

Find New Cheerleaders

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series