When free time is so limited, as it is to stay-at-home moms (SAHM), the precious free moments are spent catching up on sleep or finally getting time with friends. Sometimes you need to let those other things fall by the wayside. Instead, find out why moms should date themselves in those precious free evenings or afternoons.
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For a long time, I never wanted to do anything by myself. It is still something that I struggle with. Let’s be fair, it is so much easier to go somewhere or try something new when you have a friend, family member, or spouse by your side.
However, at some point you have to be strong enough to be alone. You need to learn to stand on your own and enjoy your own company. That’s why moms should date themselves regularly.
Why Moms Should Date Themselves
It is not innate to make it a point to date yourself. A quick Google search will make that clear. All of the articles you find about dating yourself are geared at helping you find a boyfriend or get over a break-up. All of these articles have a similar point, however, and that is that through dating yourself you gain insight into who you are.
Why should that only be something you seek when trying to mend a broken heart or find a partner? It shouldn’t. That’s why moms should date themselves, too.
Allows You to Recharge
First of all, when you try new things, or even activities you already know you enjoy, alone there is no reason for any pretense. This means you can truly let go and express yourself. If you are touched by a particular part of a movie you go to see, there’s no external forces urging you to hold back tears.
On the flip side of that, if you hate a new experience or activity, there is no need to put on a show that you enjoy it. It is truly the best way to get to know yourself. When you don’t feel the need to put on a show for the sake of the people you are with, you can truly recharge. Even if you don’t enjoy an activity, sometimes that release of emotion is just as important as laughter or tears.
Get Comfortable Being Alone
Even if you once enjoyed spending time alone, after years of being a SAHM without time to yourself a reprieve sounds like a dream come true. However, once you actually find yourself alone it is difficult to cope with. Don’t believe me? Think about the last time you got a weekend away without the kids. How long before you missed them and simply had to call just to hear their little voices?
Dating yourself is an important way to a.) get that much needed break from the house and kiddos that you need and b.) learn to enjoy your own company again. Both are important for your health and well being.
Do What You Want
How often do you watch what your kids, husband, or friends want to see at the movies? When was the last time you got to pick the restaurant your family went to? Too often, moms sacrifice our own wants and desires to our families. (Anyone else been talked into a Chuck-E-Cheese visit by pleading kiddos?)
Use dates with yourself to do the things that you truly want to do. Check out that movie that you’ve been dying to see without twisting someone’s arm to join you (like I did with this movie). Try out a paint and sip class or simply spend some time alone reading a new book at the library.
Whatever it is, you can choose to do what you want unapologetically.
How to Date Yourself
Now that you know the benefits to why moms should date themselves, it’s time to put it into practice. I know it’s easier said than done but you can start with The Hard Truth About Carving Out Me Time to help. In addition to that, there are some practical strategies you can use to date yourself.
When our schedules are filled with kids practices, meetings at school, our husband’s work schedule, not to mention the myriad of extended family events, it is difficult to date ourselves on the fly. That’s why I recommend taking time at the beginning of each month to schedule date nights with yourself into your planner. When you truly make an effort, making time for one date with yourself a month is easy.
Once you’ve scheduled your date with yourself, you need to prioritize it. This is an important commitment to yourself and you need to treat it as such. That means that even if something comes up, like a last minute birthday party or your husband’s friends want to go to the golf course, you don’t reschedule your date.
- Of course, there will be times when you truly have to reschedule your date night but this should be the exception not the rule. Some examples of reasons to reschedule should be in the case of emergency (obviously), you end up sick, or if your husband has unavoidable overtime (or in our case, drill gets rescheduled).
- When this happens, it is important to reschedule your date immediately. Pick a new date within the next 2 weeks that you can enjoy your date with yourself.
Let Your Family Know
Lastly, you need to let your family know when you have scheduled it. Remember that when you are first starting out, you will probably have to remind your family often as the date approaches. It will take time for them to learn that this is a regular activity that you are prioritizing and that they should too.
Moms need to recharge, get comfortable being alone, and make themselves a priority. That’s exactly why moms should date themselves. Because this is so important, don’t forget to prioritize your dates with yourself. It will be challenging at first, for both you and your family, but as you continue to stick to it, it will get easier. When you’re tempted to cancel or reschedule a date remember that you are doing this for your family as well. A happy and healthy mom is the best gift you can give to your family daily.
See where I’m linking up!
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