If you remember your Psychology 101 class from college, you may have heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Even though it’s not perfect, the Hierarchy of Needs provides a nice visually blueprint for self care and improvement. Create your SAHM hierarchy of needs with the tips below to set yourself up for further rediscovery.

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Because this is such a personalized theory, use the ideas below as guidelines to discover your hierarchy of needs. Be sure to ready about the extended and updated Hierarchy of Needs at the bottom of this post on Simply Psychology. It is full of great examples to help guide you.

What is the Hierarchy of Needs

The Hierarchy of Needs is a psychology theory developed by Maslow. It is a pyramid of needs each person has that builds on itself. Above is an example of the Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. There is an interesting thing about the bottom 4 tiers, called deficiency needs. When you are deficient in them, you are automatically motivated to meet them. Self actualization, on the other hand, is a growth need and you are more motivated to reach it as you start seeing growth.

Maslow continued to update his theory for 30+ years. “Maslow noted that the order of needs might be flexible based on external circumstances or individual differences. For example, he notes that for some individuals, the need for self-esteem is more important than the need for love. For others, the need for creative fulfillment may supersede even the most basic needs.” (Read more at Simply Psychology)

SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

The stay-at-home mom hierarchy of needs is a little different because it gets at the heart of what we’re doing with the rediscovery of yourself after marriage and motherhood. Namely, the esteem and love/belonging tiers are switched. It holds with the belief that you cannot have truly meaningful relationships without loving and caring for yourself first.

If you don’t fulfill this need first, you can find yourself in the wrong relationships and groups later on. Don’t worry, we’ll cover outgrowing relationships later in the series. Until then, focus on taking care of the relationship with yourself.

How to Use the SAHM Hierarchy of Needs

Use the SAHM hierarchy of needs as a blueprint for healthy living. We are going to focus on the esteem need because that is where most moms have lost their way. Specifically, how “dignity, achievement, and independence” (Simply Psychology) apply to stay-at-home moms.

Independence

While you might be financially dependent on your husband, there are many other areas in which you can and should find independence. This includes having hobbies and friends of your own. It also means taking responsibility of your emotions. This is a trap that moms can fall into. Your kids are being crazy all day then your husband comes home in a bad mood. Suddenly you find yourself grumpy and grouchy for the rest of the evening.

Instead, own your emotions. Allow yourself to be frustrated by the day but then move on and turn it around. Actively seek out hobbies that you do alone. Catch up with friends without your husband sometimes. These are the ways that you reclaim your independence.

Dignity

Dignity comes in many forms all of which inevitably lead back to knowing yourself. Don’t get caught in the habit of always complaining about life, yourself, or others in your conversations. Focus on the positive aspects your life and relationships. Read more about dignity here.

Your attitude, actions, and integrity all contribute to developing dignity.

Achievement

Achievement is a wonderful motivator for other areas of your life. Because of this I recommend taking some time to write some of your achievements in your journal. These achievements can be big or small. For example, saving your family money by creating and sticking to a meal plan is an awesome achievement. Equally, taking 20 minutes yesterday to take a bath and read a book is also an achievement.

Once you’ve done that, think about some other things you would like to achieve. Again, these can be as big or as small as you want. Maybe you want to finally learn a new language or lose that extra 10 pounds (or 50 if you’re like me). Whatever it is, working towards the achievement is the perfect way to focus on yourself in a constructive and helpful way.

After you create your SAHM hierarchy of needs, refer back to it often to ensure that you are working towards fulfilling your esteem need and, later, fulfilling your love/belonging need. Tomorrow we’ll talk about The Hard Truth About Carving Out Me Time. It’s the next step to taking time for yourself on your journey of rediscovery.

See where I’m linking up!

Create Your SAHM Hierarchy of Needs