Anytime you want to be successful at anything, you need to find your big why. You need to identify the motivator behind what you want and it needs to be big enough to get you through the tough days. It it’s not, you will give up and nothing changes. That’s why you have to determine your why for self discovery.
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When I started on my self-discovery journey, my kids were my main motivator. I was so tired and stressed out all of the time that I wasn’t being a very good mom. It wasn’t that I didn’t meet their needs. They still had food to eat, clothes on their back, and more toys than I care to admit, but I was impatient and yelled a lot. We had stopped playing and creating together. That wasn’t the environment I wanted for them.
Any mom knows that there is nothing you won’t do for your kids. That made them a serious motivator for me. My kids deserve a happy and energized mom and yours do too.
As time goes on, other things also started motivating me. Now I’m not only completing this process for them. I am more confident, patient, and happy than I was a year ago. My kids notice the difference and I want to keep feeling that way.
I don’t want to just live my life, I want to love it! That’s exactly what I want for you too. In fact, I want it for every stay-at-home mom.
Tools Needed For This Exercise
List the Reasons
The first step to determine your why for self discovery is to list it all out. To do this, grab a your journal and set a timer for 2 minutes. Start your timer and spend the 2 minutes listing everything you can think of for why you want to rediscover yourself. List anything and everything that comes to mind without thinking about it. It can be things you’re unhappy about in your life now that you want to change. It can be a future you see for yourself and your family. Whatever it is, write it down.
Find Your Big Why
Once your timer goes off, look at your list. What reasons stand out to you? Use a highlighter to denote the reasons that do. Again, don’t spend too much time thinking about it. Simply highlight the reasons that immediately pop off the page at you.
Do any of them go hand-in-hand? For example, being less angry and more patient both fall under being a better mom for me. Identifying the ones that go together are showing you your Big Why. Take a minute and write that Big Why down in sentence or paragraph form.
Make It Bigger
Now that you have your Big Why it is time to make it bigger. Trust me, no matter how motivating your Big Why is, when the going gets tough, you want something huge that is going to help you push through and make new discoveries.
For example, my big why was that I wanted to be a better mom. That’s not big enough on it’s own. You have to ask yourself questions like:
- Why do you want to be a better mom?
- What would life look like for you and your family if you were a better mom by your standards?
These questions help you form your truly outrageous why to propel you through the rest of the journey to rediscover yourself.
Write Your Why Down
It’s not enough to think about your why. You need to put pen to paper and write that baby down. Return to it often to stay on track throughout this process. You want a concrete reference point, a physical reminder, of why you are pushing yourself to do this. It is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel guiding you to the end.
After you determine your why for self discovery, keep your journal close. Carry it with you so that it is literally at your fingertips. If you can’t carry your journal with you for whatever reason, tear out the sheet with your why and put it in your planner or purse. Trust me, parts of this journey are going to be incredibly hard and sometimes painful. You are breaking old habits and shedding the old, miserable you to make way for someone truly amazing. That’s not easy. Never be far from your why and you will get through.
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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series
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- Determine Your Why for Self Discovery
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