In most of your endeavors in life you want to find a solid accountability partner. This is the person who pushes you and gives you hard truths you need to hear most, even when you don’t want to. That’s how people reach their goals. When you’re in this vulnerable place of rediscovery, I don’t want you to find an accountability partner. I want you to find your cheerleaders.
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You’ve probably had cheerleaders in your life that phased in and out. These are the friends you had that you could do no wrong with. They called you their best friend even when they weren’t really yours. These relationships never last.
Why? They don’t last because there isn’t a real connection. The entire relationship is lopsided and in your heart of hearts, you can’t trust them. How can you trust someone that always agrees with you, loves what you love (to a scary and false degree), and never thinks you make mistakes? You can’t.
However, when you’re in this raw state of rediscovering yourself after marriage and motherhood, you need to find your cheerleaders who will encourage and support you. That’s not to say you need to go out and find some fake friends to use. That’s not good. Instead, use these tips to find your cheerleaders all around you when you need them most.
Reach Out to Friends
Your existing friends already love you, otherwise, why would you be friends? Start to find your cheerleaders by reaching out to them. Tell them about your journey and invite them to do it with you. Then make a pact with each other to provide loving support throughout this journey. When you journal consistently for 3 days, let them know and give a big “Hooray” and high five each other. When she steps outside of her comfort zone to try a new activity, enthuse about how awesome that is!
This isn’t about falsehood, it’s about camaraderie. It’s about showing enthusiasm for the difficult steps you’re taking to rediscover yourself.
Find New Cheerleaders
As you go on this journey, you may find that some of your friends aren’t as close anymore. I’ll talk about this more in another post but for now understand that this is normal. You are finding who you are in the present and that may be drastically different from who you were.
That’s why it’s important to find new cheerleaders, too. Start by participating in the Instagram challenge to find other women going through the same process you are. Find chicks that vibe with your weird and even start a Facebook group or Instagram group chat to regularly connect with each other.
You don’t have to be face-to-face to have deep and lasting relationships. Oftentimes, in this busy season of life, you don’t even get to see your friends as much as you once did. That’s the beauty of the internet. You can connect with awesome people regularly who get you and bond with you without packing up your kids and leaving the house. That’s awesome!
Be Your Own Cheerleader
I still recommend find 1 or 2 awesome women to help support and cheer you on, but you should totally be your own cheerleader too. Of course, when you’re in those tough moments when you want to fall back on old patterns it’s hard. When you’re going through your clothes and find negative self-talk filtering in your head, it’s hard to be your own cheerleader.
Luckily, I have a trick to help you out in these moments and it’s probably sitting next to you as you read this. It’s your phone. Use the voice recorder on your phone to record you saying positive things to yourself. Here are few ideas in case you need help:
- That outfit looks gorgeous on you!
- You’re tired of being exhausted and unhappy. You want to live your best life now. That’s why you’re going to stick with this process.
- I love how you did your hair today!
- That makeup looks stunning!
- You are a smart and strong woman. There is nothing you can’t accomplish.
When you’re feeling vulnerable, whip out your phone and play these back to yourself. There’s something powerful about hearing your own voice compliment you.
Use these 3 tips to find your cheerleaders during your rediscovery after marriage and motherhood. They are an important resource to have in your corner. Don’t forget to jump on the Instagram challenge if you haven’t already. It is a great way to find community in this process and it will help you keep showing up and doing the work when it gets tough. I also highly recommend starting small private Facebook groups or a group message on Instagram to connect with each other. Share ideas and thoughts with each other throughout this journey so that you can all come out the other side living your best life ever!
See where I’m linking up!
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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series
- Why All Moms Need a Journal
- Determine Your Why for Self Discovery
- Find Your Cheerleaders
- DIY Positive Affirmation Cards
- Create Your SAHM Hierarchy of Needs
- The Hard Truth About Carving Out Me Time
- 5 Awesome Podcasts to Inspire Self Discovery
- How to Love Yourself First
- Stop Reacting to Life and Live Proactive
- How to Set and Protect Boundaries as a Mom
- How Moms Can Stop Being People Pleasers
- Why It’s Okay to Outgrow Relationships
- It’s Time to Break-up with Yourself
- Create a Mini Mom Oasis for Recharging
- Why Moms Should Date Themselves + How to Do It
- How to Get Your Free Time Back as a SAHM
- Turn Someday into Today
- Why You Should Throw Out Your Clothes
- Rediscover Your Old Hobbies
- How to Find New Hobbies You Love
- How to Create a Daily Self Care Routine
- Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk
- How a Haircut Can Help You Find Yourself
- Make a Bucket List You’ll Actually Complete
- Unique Alternative Ideas to Help You Find Yourself
- Why SAHM Need to Unplug Weekly
- 10 Mom Date Ideas You Can Do at Home
- 10 Mom Date Ideas to Get Out of the House
- Embracing Your Weird as a Mom
- How to Practice Mindful Reflection