Throughout this series, we have talked a lot about some of the terrible things moms say to themselves. From saying, “I’m a failure,” to “I hate how I look in pictures,” there seems to be no shortage of put downs. Find out how to turn those words around and shut down your negative self talk.
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Too often I found myself saying these things to myself. It got to the point that I had zero self-esteem and looked for validation everywhere except where it counted: from myself. Of course, you know that the problem with this is that it never works.
Then one day I was struck with a though. I realized all of the amazing things I have done in my life. I thought about how brave I have always been in my personal style. That was when I decided this self abuse had to stop.
Tips to Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk
Shutting down negative self talk may be one of the hardest things you ever do. However, it is so important to your well-being. In fact, when you engage in negative self talk, you are verbally abusing yourself. Name calling, condescension, and degradation are all forms of verbal abuse. You deserve better than that. These tips will help you turn around that destructive behavior.
Use a Picture of Your Daughter
This is the most powerful trick to shut down negative self talk. Any time you find yourself saying or thinking horrible things, I want you to pull out a picture of your daughter and try to say those same things to it. Look at that adorable, innocent little face above and imagine me telling her the horrible things I say to myself. It’s impossible.
Keep the picture on your phone so that you always have it with you because, let’s be fair, negative self talk happens all the time. I also recommend having photos on the wall by your bathroom mirror and closet. This fights those times that put on an outfit and think you’re fat or look in the mirror and hate your complexion.
Replace Thoughts with Positives
Every time you say or think somethings negative about yourself, counter it by pointing out something positive. For example, I hate my nose. I have no idea why but I have always though it was too big for my face. When I catch myself fixating on it, I counter the negative thought and focus on a feature I love, like my eyes.
The same goes for when you say, “I’m a bad mom.” Counter that negative (and totally false) statement with, “I am the perfect mom for my kids and exactly what they need.” For every negative thought you have, there is a positive one to counter it. If you find yourself struggling, pull out your positive affirmations cards.
This one isn’t my favorite because, as I have said before, I am very anti-pain. However, if the methods above don’t work, try a rubber band when you catch yourself talking or thinking negatively about yourself.
Your brain begins associating the pain with negative self talk and will start avoiding it. Please note that multiple studies have been done that show positive reinforcement is a much more powerful behavior modifier. For that reason, I only recommend this as a last option.
These tips will help you shut down your negative self talk and start speaking with much more love and truth. Remember that the words you speak to and think about yourself shape the person that you inevitably become. Don’t let that be a woman formed from verbal abuse in constant search of external validation. Everything you need is already inside of you and it’s pretty amazing.
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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series
- Why All Moms Need a Journal
- Determine Your Why for Self Discovery
- Find Your Cheerleaders
- DIY Positive Affirmation Cards
- Create Your SAHM Hierarchy of Needs
- The Hard Truth About Carving Out Me Time
- 5 Awesome Podcasts to Inspire Self Discovery
- How to Love Yourself First
- Stop Reacting to Life and Live Proactive
- How to Set and Protect Boundaries as a Mom
- How Moms Can Stop Being People Pleasers
- Why It’s Okay to Outgrow Relationships
- It’s Time to Break-up with Yourself
- Create a Mini Mom Oasis for Recharging
- Why Moms Should Date Themselves + How to Do It
- How to Get Your Free Time Back as a SAHM
- Turn Someday into Today
- Why You Should Throw Out Your Clothes
- Rediscover Your Old Hobbies
- How to Find New Hobbies You Love
- How to Create a Daily Self Care Routine
- Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk
- How a Haircut Can Help You Find Yourself
- Make a Bucket List You’ll Actually Complete
- Unique Alternative Ideas to Help You Find Yourself
- Why SAHM Need to Unplug Weekly
- 10 Mom Date Ideas You Can Do at Home
- 10 Mom Date Ideas to Get Out of the House
- Embracing Your Weird as a Mom
- How to Practice Mindful Reflection