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The holidays are exhausting, especially for someone who already suffers from depression. Afterward, even those without any mental illness can suffer from depression and anxiety. If you’re feeling depleted right now find out how to stop being depressed after the holidays.

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[bctt tweet=”Guard your time, recharge yourself, and start recuperating from the holiday stress with these tips for how to stop being depressed after the holidays.” username=”diyadulation”]

I always look forward to the holiday season. After they end, I am beyond depleted and stretch thin. I basically feel like hibernating. Since that’s not an option when you’re a stay-at-home mom I’ve found other ways to cope.

Growing up, we lost my grandma when I was about 10. After that, we pretty much stopped getting together for the holidays. This meant 1 Christmas, at home, with my immediate family and occasionally some friends. This meant that I didn’t realize how big of a toll the holidays could take on me until I got married.

Suddenly I went from 1 low-key Christmas to 5+ celebrations over the course of a week. Afterward I would spiral so badly that I literally would cry in a corner rocking back and forth. It took a few years before I even recognized the correlation and another 2+ to figure out how to manage it. Now I’m sharing how to stop being depressed after the holidays with you in hopes that you don’t wind up sobbing in a corner too.

Please keep in mind that I am not a medical or psychology expert. I’ve simply spent years dealing with depression and learned some tricks along the way.

Why You Feel Depressed After the Holidays

Most research boils down to the fact that you are over-extended during the holidays. “During the holidays, there is an increase in the number of activities, tasks, and social events that people must manage.” (Forbes) The demands on your time, energy, and finances takes a toll on your well-being. When you finally get a break after the holidays, you’re beyond depleted.

Think of your body like an engine running hot. If you keep it running full-speed you run the risk of blowing the engine. The same thing goes for you. If you keep pushing yourself too hard, for too long, you end up blowing yourself up.

This feeling is further complicated if you spent more than you meant to over the holidays, added a few extra pounds, or don’t get along with family members. Now, in addition to being totally depleted, you are also packing guilt, remorse, and bitterness that you can’t process effectively in your current state. Ugh.

Be Like Oprah with Your No’s

There are so many things that we feel like we have to say, “Yes” to over the holidays that it is exhausting. After the holidays are over, it’s time to be like Oprah with your no’s. You get a no, you get a no, everybody gets a no. For at least the first week, if not longer, don’t feel bad about taking time for yourself. You’ve pushed yourself past the brink in the last month. If you continue at that pace it is going to end with you spiraling down in a hurry.

If a friend wants to catch up over coffee after the holidays, let her know that you’re recharging and ask to schedule it in a few weeks instead. Ask hubs if he’ll handle the kids’ after school activities for a week. Tell your mom you can’t talk to her on the phone for an hour. Whatever it is that you need a break from, speak up.

It took me a lot of years to get to a point where I am open and honest about my needs, especially after the holidays. We shuffle around to so many different gatherings, there are presents to be bought and wrapped, you are talking/visiting with a lot of different people… it definitely takes its toll. I let family and friends know that I’m going to be more difficult to get in touch with for the first week or so after the holidays. Admittedly, a lot of people don’t understand it because they don’t suffer from depression as I do. However, I know my own mental health needs and they can deal with it.

How to Recharge Yourself

There are a myriad of ways to recharge yourself after the holidays. It depends on the individual what works best. I, for instance, really need a total break from family and friends. I push myself so hard to be perfect for everyone and it’s exhausting. After the holidays are over, I need to return home and simply stay there for a few days.

A lot of recharging yourself takes knowing you really well and some trial and error. If you need help with ideas on how to recharge, don’t worry. I have you covered:

Oprah No’s

I know that we covered this above but it’s that important. Stop feeling obligated, especially after the holidays, to say yes to things you don’t have the energy to do, don’t enjoy, or that stress you out.

Enjoy the sunlight when you can

The winter means less sunlight which can also affect your mood. When the sun is out, try to enjoy it. This could mean going for a walk or simply reading by a bright window. Again, choose what’s best for you.

Try out one of your new gifts

We are so busy as moms during the holidays that chances are you haven’t even tried out your gifts yet (except for that rad disappearing TARDIS mug that held your coffee this morning). Take a day or even a few hours to bust one open and enjoy it.

Get some extra sleep

Another thing that helps after overextending yourself is to get some extra sleep. Try taking a mini-nap during the day or go to sleep when the kids do a couple of nights. I promise, this is the best way to let your body heal and recuperate.

Read

Getting lost in another world is another excellent way to recharge. Read a new book or reread one of your faves. Time spent reading is never wasted.

Side Note:

I finally got the last 2 books in the Autumn series so I have restarted it from the beginning to read it all the way through. If you like zombies and survival you should totally check them out.

Exercise

As someone who hates exercise that doesn’t seem to serve a purpose (ie: walking just to walk instead of walking around an amusement park all day), I totally get any aversion to this one. However, exercise is a fantastic, healthy way to boost serotonin and leave you feeling better. Force yourself to get up and moving, even if it’s just to dance around the house, and you will feel better for it.

If you find yourself truly spiraling after the holidays and have any thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 . If you hate talking on the phone, you can also text now. Text CONNECT to 741741 in the U.S. or 686868 in Canada.

Guard your time, recharge your mind and body, and start recuperating from the holiday stress with these tips for how to stop being depressed after the holidays. Don’t forget to keep those Oprah No’s in your back pocket. Pull them out for everything that doesn’t help you feel better this time of year. What other ways do you recharge after the holidays? Share your tips and tricks with us in the comments!

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Why All Moms Need a Journal
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32 Self Care Activities to Prevent the Holiday Blues – Pretty Crafty and Wanderful

A new year provides a wealth of opportunity to change your life. Unfortunately, too often we write out resolutions only to get serious about them for a week then abandon them. This year, trade in your resolutions for New Years goals and finally achieve all of those big ideas you have. Find out how to set successful goals and break them down all year long for the best year ever!

Collage of Notebooks and Clear Glass with Candy Confetti with text overlay - Trade in Your Resolutions for New Years Goals

I have always set goals for New Years without even realizing it and called them resolutions. In fact, I set big goals because of the innate belief that anyone can accomplish anything when they set their mind to it.

Even if you don’t reach all of your goals for the year, you learn a lot about yourself in the process. You also find that sometimes you are chasing the wrong goals. What you think you wanted or needed wasn’t the case at all. Of course, you can’t do that without setting, working, and tracking your goals.

That’s why this year, I’m challenging you to trade in your typical, unfulfilled resolutions for New Years goals!

The Problem with Resolutions

Setting New Years resolutions are better than nothing, but there’s a reason that you aren’t following through year after year. When most people set resolutions, they basically write down a couple of things that they hope happen this year. There isn’t a plan to achieve those resolutions.

How many times have you decided that this is the year that you’re going to get organized. You spend the first couple weeks of January feverishly cleaning your home and finding places for all of the new gifts you received. Soon, you’re burnt out and have no idea what to do next. Sound familiar?

What if you could change that by setting goals and skipping the resolutions? When you follow these steps, you can finally make those things happen.

New Years Goals Sheet Next to Notebooks and Pen — **P.S. You can totally grab this printable worksheet for free in the VIP Library of Resources! Not signed up? Opt-in right here!**

How to Set New Years Goals

Don’t set amorphous goals like, “I plan to lose weight this year.” That lands you in the same place you are now when next year rolls around. Goals need to be specific. For example, to lose weight your specific goal could be, “I am going to workout 4 times a week” or “I will meal plan every Sunday so that I can eat healthy foods easily”.

Another tip is to think about the specific areas of your life that you want to change. I recommend no more than 5 (you can see a list of areas to choose from on Tips and Tricks for Creating Your Future). Typically, I choose to set one goal each for Self-Improvement, Finances, Family, Home, and Business. This helps you set your focus for the year with big goals! Here are some examples to help you out:

Self-Improvement: I will lose 5 pounds a month.
Finances: Pay off $20,000 of debt.
Family: Start having weekly family meetings again.
Home: I will not purchase anything new, outside of groceries and toiletries, for an entire year.
Business: I will grow my monthly income to $10,000 per month in order to hire an assistant by Q4.

Keep in mind that these are just examples to get the wheels turning. Maybe you want to strengthen your marriage this year by making weekly date nights a priority. Or, this year is the year that you are going to get your basement finished. Whatever your goals are, write them down.

Close Up of Goals Lists on New Years Goals Sheet

Break Down Your Goals

Once you have your goals written down, it’s time to make a plan for completing them. No matter how specific your goals are, you still need to break them down into baby steps that you can focus on each month and each week. Think of these like the footholds on your mountain that help you reach the peak.

Don’t get overwhelmed and think that you have to plan out the entire year. In fact, I recommend only breaking your goals down 1 month at a time. Here are some ideas based on the examples above:

Lose 5 Pounds a Month

Baby Steps:

– Get 15,000 steps a day.

– Prep 6 healthy lunches on Sunday for the week.

– Complete 20 minute workout video Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Pay Off $20,000 of Debt

Baby Steps:

– Cut one unnecessary item from our monthly budget.

– Sell unused items in our home and put that money towards debt.

– Work side jobs to make up difference until we have paid off $2000 in debt this month.

Start Having Weekly Family Meetings Again

Baby Steps:

– Determine the day/evening of the week that this works best for our family.

– Prepare 4 family activity ideas to correspond with the family meetings.

– Execute 1 family meeting a week.

Not Purchase Anything New for an Entire Year

Baby Steps:

– Declutter living room so that I have a better idea what we have.

– Deep clean 1 area of the house every time I am tempted to buy something new to help deter the feeling.

– When I cannot find a work around using items we already have, find something used that will work.

Note:

Notice that these baby steps do not accomplish the entire goal. Instead, they break them down into monthly actionable steps that are much more manageable.

For example, if you said you wanted to lose 50 pounds this year, that seems like a steep mountain to climb. However, only focusing on 5 pounds a month is a much less daunting figure.

The same goes for paying off $20,000 of debt. That is a big number! Instead, break it down into a $2000 monthly goal and it doesn’t seem as impossible.

Filled Out Monthly Calendar Pages of Planner

Make It Happen

Lastly, just having your goals broken down into baby steps doesn’t get the job done. The best way to make sure you work towards your goals is to schedule them in your planner every week. Make them non-negotiable for the first month and it will get easier every month after.

Pick a day of the week to update your planner for the following week and schedule your baby steps. For example, add your workouts to your schedule on the days you want to complete them. The same goes for your meal planning, home improvement tasks, or organization plans.

You also want to schedule check-ins throughout your month to ensure that you are staying on track. If you are focusing on losing 5 pounds a month, have weekly weigh-ins to track your progress. You should also have check-ins for your other goals such as checking every payday to see how much debt you have paid off that month.

Include Rewards

It’s no surprise that rewards motivate us to keep going. Rewards are treats and treats make you feel good, especially when you have to earn them. The trick here is to make sure that you choose rewards that don’t derail your goals. So don’t make your reward cake for losing 5 pounds or don’t go out and buy a bunch of movies as a reward for not buying anything new. Both of these defeat the purpose of focusing so hard on your goals.

Instead, reward yourself with an extra free day as a reward for meeting your weight goal. You could also reward yourself with a spa day at home for not buying anything new this month. Whatever you choose, keep your rewards in line with your ultimate goals.

Don’t leave the rewards to the last minute to decide on. Instead, plan them at the beginning of each month when you set your baby steps for the month. This gives you something to look forward to and helps you prepare better as well.

Clear Glass with Candy Confetti Coming Out of It with text overlay - Trade in Your Resolutions for New Years Goals

Instead of wasting your time on more resolutions to abandon this year, trade in your resolutions for New Years goals. When you set specific goals, break them down, and reward yourself for making it happen you can achieve everything you want this year without burnout. Make it even easier when you subscribe to these monthly bundles and download the monthly planner. Every month includes a goals worksheet to break down your goals and remind you to schedule your steps each month!

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The last piece of how to rediscover yourself after marriage and motherhood is learning how to practice mindful reflection. Self reflection is how you continue to grow and improve long after working through the exercises in this series. The best way to do this easily is with your journal so make sure you have it handy.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”The last piece of how to rediscover yourself after marriage and motherhood is learning how to practice mindful reflection. Learn how with these tips!” username=”diyadulation”]

I whole-heartedly believe that mindful reflection is key to self awareness. Self awareness is something that I strive for daily. You can even ask my family, if I notice that I’m stressed out or tired and being extra snappy at everyone I apologize. Then, more importantly, I make a concerted effort to improve my attitude and my behavior.

That is not the only way that being self aware helps you, though. Self awareness is at the heart of everything you have worked on during this series. When you truly know yourself, enforcing your boundaries, treating yourself with love and respect, and growing as a person and a mom are all easier.

Practice Gratitude

One of the best ways to practice mindful reflection is through gratitude. Focus on the things that you are thankful for in a deliberate way and do so daily. Gratitude changes your mindset which is important for mindful reflection without judgment. You want to reflect with a heart of compassion towards yourself.

Bonus:

This also helps improve your entire mood and outlook in general. Start your day with a quick gratitude practice and it sets the tone for your entire day.

Reflect on Your Goals

I do this every single month and it is so incredibly powerful. First, you have to set monthly goals. Then, at the end of each month, go over them noting which ones you accomplished and which ones you did not. Lastly, and most importantly, evaluate why you completed or didn’t complete your goals.

Be honest with yourself (no one’s going to see this anyway). Did you fail to complete a goal because you were lazy and didn’t work on it? Or, did you not complete it because your methods legitimately didn’t work. Dig into your results and adjust your plans for next month accordingly.

Review Your Journal

Right now I want you to pull out your journal and look at your first few entries. If you worked through all of the exercises in this series, you likely don’t even recognize the woman who wrote those entries. That is the power of keeping a journal.

There will be times that you feel like you haven’t come as far as you want. In those moments, pull out your journal and take a look at just how far you have truly come on your journey.

You can also look for patterns in your thoughts and feelings. Do you notice that you get very sad or anxious after a particularly busy week? That can be a sign that you aren’t recharging like you should. If you struggle with depression, you can also use your journal to become aware of patterns in your dips. Your journal is a powerful, inexpensive tool to practice mindful reflection with.

Be in the Moment

Lastly, try being present in the moment. When you try to intentionally be in the moment you are automatically more aware of yourself. Think about it like this: it is recommended that you don’t do other things while eating because you are more prone to mindlessly eating and not recognizing cues that you are full.

The same goes for your emotions. If you are distracted during activities and conversations, you don’t notice when you are uncomfortable or boundaries are being crossed. Instead, the effects catch up with you later without you realizing the cause.

Additionally, being in the moment recaptures some of that childlike wonder. Kids aren’t worried about what has happened or what is coming. They are focused on what is happening right now. That means they feel everything deeply and passionately. Try to bring some of that passion into your daily life simply by choosing to be present in the moment.

Practicing gratitude, reflecting on your goals, reviewing your journal regularly, and being present in the moment will help you continue on this journey you started 31 days ago. Now your know how to practice mindful reflection to for continued growth, confidence, and happiness.

See where I’m linking up!

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Stop Being Depressed After the Holidays

Why You Feel Depressed After the Holidays

Be Like Oprah with Your No’s

How to Recharge Yourself

Oprah No’s

Enjoy the sunlight when you can

Try out one of your new gifts

Get some extra sleep

Read

Side Note:

Exercise

More Ideas You’ll Love:

Trade in Your Resolutions for New Years Goals

The Problem with Resolutions

How to Set New Years Goals

Break Down Your Goals

Note:

Make It Happen

Include Rewards

More Ideas You’ll Love:

Tips for How to Practice Mindful Reflection

Practice Gratitude

Bonus:

Reflect on Your Goals

Review Your Journal

Be in the Moment

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series