Do you have a bucket list? If so, how many of the things on it have you actually done? Don’t worry if your answer is in the single digits. These tips will help you make a bucket list you’ll actually complete.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”How many items on on your bucket list have you actually done? Don’t worry. These tips will help you make a bucket list you’ll actually complete.” username=”diyadulation”]

I have been lucky enough to do many great things and have tons of awesome experiences in my life. Then one day, I realized I had stopped. I got caught up in raising a family and daily life.

It happens to the best of us but once you realize it, you want to do something about it. A bucket list is a great way to change it around.

If you actually do it, that is. That is exactly what these tips help you do.

Start with What You Have Done

Start by making a list of all of the amazing things you have already done. When you see how much you’ve already accomplished, it will motivate you to start again. That’s how you get the initial push to start again.

There are no wrong answers here, either. Everything that you feel is an accomplishment, unique experience, or enriching should go on the list. Here is a short example for you:

Visit Montreal
Go to Disney World
See Boston in Concert
Crowd Surf
Fly in a Plane
Write a Book
Perform Live on Stage
Try Out for The Voice
Go Skinny Dipping
Perform in a Play
Win an Award/Trophy
Complete a 5K
Ride a Horse
Pet a Shark
Ride an Elephant
Feed a Giraffe
Attend New Orleans Jazz Festival
Eat Alligator
See the Nutcracker Ballet
Get Paid to Sing

Not all of these are huge things but they all meant something to me. Seeing it all laid out on a list makes you feel pretty awesome and accomplished. You are a person, a unique individual who has so much more to give than what you give yourself credit for.

Make Your Bucket List

Once you complete the list of things you have already done, it’s time to make your bucket list. You were likely inspired by new ideas while compiling the list above. Write them down: all of them. Anything and everything you can think of that you want to do, try, and experience.

Here is another quick example:

Be an Extra in a Horror Movie
Go Snorkeling
Visit Hawaii
Take a European Vacation
Go on an Overnight Ghost Hunt
Stay in an Over-water Bungalow
Go to Super Bowl
Attend Comi-Con in San Diego
Throw an Over-the-Top Birthday Party
Go on a Huge Tropical Zip Line
Try Glass Blowing
Go on a Cruise
Try a Sensory Deprivation Tank
Earn a Million Dollars
Attend a Crab Boil
Eat at the Hello Kitty Food Truck
Meet the Core Buffy “Scooby Gang”
Sleep in a Haunted House
Go on a Safari
Donate Blood

Notice how there are seriously all kinds of things on this list. From places to visit to conquering fears and even to financial milestones, they are all part of my bucket list. Remember, you decide what goes on it and it can be absolutely anything you want.

Prominently Feature Your Bucket List

After you finish your bucket list, you need to keep that baby front and center on your mind. A great way to do this is to literally hang it on the wall.

If you have a large dry erase board you can write your bucket list on there and hang it. You can also make the super easy DIY chalkboard in this tutorial to write them on.

Share Your Bucket List

Lastly, share it with your family, including your kids. There are 3 reasons for this:

This helps keep you accountable.
It prepares your kids for the times you do things without them.
Lastly, it’s a great behavior to model for your kids.

I love kids for their honesty. When they see you checking off items on the list, they will get excited. On the flip side of that, they won’t hesitate to point out when it has been a while since you checked one off.

Bonus Tip: Schedule It

In case you haven’t notice, I’m a big proponent for scheduling things. When you take the time to write them down and plan them, it makes it easier to stick to. Additionally, it gives you a deadline. I recommend scheduling at least 4 bucket list items a year. Ideally these would be 3 smaller ones that are simple and inexpensive to complete and 1 large one that is consumes more time, planning, and money.

When you start with your accomplishments, keep your list prominent, and share it with family you will finally make a bucket list you’ll actually complete. The life we live and who we become is essentially made up of each one of these experiences. They shape and form us which is pretty cool when you think about it. That means we have a lot more control over who we become than we like to believe.

See where I’m linking up!

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

I’ve always loved the quote from Coco Chanel, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” These words are absolute truth. We’re not talking about heading to the salon for a trim. We are talking about going bold and how a haircut can help you find yourself.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”Your outward appearance should be a representation of who you are and make you feel good. That’s how a haircut can help you find yourself.” username=”diyadulation”]

I have always experimented with my hair. I’ve gone crazy short and grown it super long (multiple times). It has been almost every color you can think of and a million different styles.

I think this is the product of growing up in an abusive home. When your entire life feels out of control, you grasp at anything you can control. For me, that was my hair and that trait has stuck with me into adulthood.

That’s why I think that changing your look can be a game changer in your life. Before we get to why, let’s talk about ways to change from drastic to color.

Drastic Change

When you feel like you have completely lost yourself, your life feels out of control. One of the quickest and easiest ways to take back that control is to change your look, especially your hair. In situations where you are feeling desperate, go drastic.

Even if you regret the decision later, it’s an impermanent form of change (unlike a tattoo or, more drastic, plastic surgery… eek!). When we feel lost, out of control, or in desperate need of a change we are thinking with our emotions instead of our head. I never recommend doing something permanent to your body when you are in this state of mind.

If you have always had long hair, cut it off. Or, if you keep your hair short then consider extensions. You can even completely change your look and switch up your hair color, too.

Less Drastic Change

The thought of chopping off all of your hair is scary, especially if you’ve sported that style for years. Sometimes you aren’t ready to take such a leap (although I totally recommend it). If that is the case, you can dip your toes in with some less drastic changes such as:

Bangs

Bangs are a great way to change your look without going into shock. Of course, if you’re a mom who has been going through the motions for years, you could probably use a good shock to shake things up. In addition to the less drastic change, if you decide you hate the bangs you can always style them so that they’re hidden.

Change the Style

Another option for a less drastic change is to change the style without changing the length. This can be done with a cut (such as adding layers to your long hair) or even with a hairstyle that doesn’t involve a cut at all. For example, you can even style your hair in a way that gives you “faux bangs” like the video above or a try a braided Mohawk for an edgy look.

Color

While I feel like part of rediscovery is being brave enough to try new things, sometimes even the less drastic ideas are too far outside of your comfort zone. In that case, try a color change.

These don’t even have to be permanent. You can try wash out chalks and crayons for an instant (and easily corrected) change. Or try a semi-permanent color that comes out after a few washes.

How Does This Help You Find Yourself

So much of a mom’s look is dictated by exhaustion, lack of time, and routine. When you are bold enough to change your hair, it empowers you to change other areas of your life.

Changing your hair also changes your perception of yourself. When you like the way you look, it gives your confidence, can help you feel more energized, and feel more sociable. All of these lead to big, positive changes in your overall life.

There is a lot of wisdom in the adage, “Change your look, change your life,” and not just from beauty people. Your outward appearance should be a representation of who you are and make you feel good. That’s how a haircut can help you find yourself. When you express who you are outwardly, not just in actions but appearance as well, you find the confidence to dive deep into other areas and make a true change that lasts.

See where I’m linking up!

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

Throughout this series, we have talked a lot about some of the terrible things moms say to themselves. From saying, “I’m a failure,” to “I hate how I look in pictures,” there seems to be no shortage of put downs. Find out how to turn those words around and shut down your negative self talk.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”These tips will help you shut down negative self talk and start speaking with much more love and truth. Remember that the words you speak to and think about yourself shape the person that you inevitably become.” username=”diyadulation”]

Too often I found myself saying these things to myself. It got to the point that I had zero self-esteem and looked for validation everywhere except where it counted: from myself. Of course, you know that the problem with this is that it never works.

Then one day I was struck with a though. I realized all of the amazing things I have done in my life. I thought about how brave I have always been in my personal style. That was when I decided this self abuse had to stop.

Tips to Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk

Shutting down negative self talk may be one of the hardest things you ever do. However, it is so important to your well-being. In fact, when you engage in negative self talk, you are verbally abusing yourself. Name calling, condescension, and degradation are all forms of verbal abuse. You deserve better than that. These tips will help you turn around that destructive behavior.

Use a Picture of Your Daughter

This is the most powerful trick to shut down negative self talk. Any time you find yourself saying or thinking horrible things, I want you to pull out a picture of your daughter and try to say those same things to it. Look at that adorable, innocent little face above and imagine me telling her the horrible things I say to myself. It’s impossible.

Keep the picture on your phone so that you always have it with you because, let’s be fair, negative self talk happens all the time. I also recommend having photos on the wall by your bathroom mirror and closet. This fights those times that put on an outfit and think you’re fat or look in the mirror and hate your complexion.

Replace Thoughts with Positives

Every time you say or think somethings negative about yourself, counter it by pointing out something positive. For example, I hate my nose. I have no idea why but I have always though it was too big for my face. When I catch myself fixating on it, I counter the negative thought and focus on a feature I love, like my eyes.

The same goes for when you say, “I’m a bad mom.” Counter that negative (and totally false) statement with, “I am the perfect mom for my kids and exactly what they need.” For every negative thought you have, there is a positive one to counter it. If you find yourself struggling, pull out your positive affirmations cards.

Negative Reinforcement

This one isn’t my favorite because, as I have said before, I am very anti-pain. However, if the methods above don’t work, try a rubber band when you catch yourself talking or thinking negatively about yourself.

Your brain begins associating the pain with negative self talk and will start avoiding it. Please note that multiple studies have been done that show positive reinforcement is a much more powerful behavior modifier. For that reason, I only recommend this as a last option.

These tips will help you shut down your negative self talk and start speaking with much more love and truth. Remember that the words you speak to and think about yourself shape the person that you inevitably become. Don’t let that be a woman formed from verbal abuse in constant search of external validation. Everything you need is already inside of you and it’s pretty amazing.

See where I’m linking up!

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

Make a Bucket List You’ll Actually Complete

Start with What You Have Done

Make Your Bucket List

Prominently Feature Your Bucket List

Share Your Bucket List

Bonus Tip: Schedule It

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

How a Haircut Can Help You Find Yourself

Drastic Change

Less Drastic Change

Bangs

Change the Style

Color

How Does This Help You Find Yourself

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk

Tips to Shut Down Your Negative Self Talk

Use a Picture of Your Daughter

Replace Thoughts with Positives

Negative Reinforcement

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series