Self Care Archives - Page 4 of 8

Do you have a retreat in your home where you can relax and recharge? Most moms don’t and that’s a mistake. Even if you’re short on space, find out how you can create a mini mom oasis for recharging.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

I am actually lucky enough to have a craft room, however, it is not my mom oasis. It’s in our unfinished basement, it’s dark, and not a peaceful and calm area for me.

It suits my needs for work and saving our family money. I can create there and make handmade gifts or costumes. However, it is not the place that I go to recharge because it doesn’t suit my needs for that.

I need something that is calming, relaxing, and bright. Because of that, since I don’t have another room that I can turn into an oasis for me, I have to go with another option for creating my mom oasis. That’s why I have tips to help you create a mini mom oasis when you don’t have a lot of space to devote to it.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone needs a place to retreat to when they need a break but it is hard for a SAHM. Even if you’re short on space, find out how to easily create a mini mom oasis for recharging.” username=”diyadulation”]

Mom Time Outs

Everyone needs a time out sometimes. When work stresses you out, you get breaks and a lunch. If you were overwhelmed at school, there were breaks throughout and you got to go home at the end of the day. This structure is dictated throughout our lives… until you become a stay-at-home mom.

As a SAHM, it’s hard to find a place to retreat to when you’re frustrated, overwhelmed, and need a break. The fact that your home is also your place of work, and it’s not like you get to leave for lunch break, means you have to get creative about your time-outs. That’s why it’s important to create a mini mom oasis.

Create a Mini Mom Oasis

The best way to reinsert these time outs into your life is to have a place you can go within your home where you can de-stress an recharge. If you have the space, you can designate an entire room. It doesn’t have to be a big room, it can be your small bedroom or even a large walk-in closet.

Another option is to use your guest bedroom, where you can carve out a small area that is just for you when it’s not in use. You can have a chair or a desk in that room with a little corner that’s carved out for you.

Small Space Option for Your Mini Mom Oasis

This is what you do when you don’t have a lot of space. You need to create that mini mom oasis and you simply don’t have that space to do it. You get a small box or a drawer (your nightstand drawer is perfect for this) where you keep things that recharge you. These can include:

Book
Candles in Your Favorite Scent
Comfy Throw Blanket
IPod or Inexpensive MP3 Player
Chocolate or Favorite Candy
Lavender Eye Mask
Face Mask

Keep It Clean

Here is the most important part of when you don’t have the space to designate an entire room to your oasis. You need to focus on keeping one area of your home super clean, super calming, and decorate it the way that you want.

For me, that is my master bedroom. When I need to get away during the day, or even at the end of the day, to recharge and shrug off the stresses of the day that is where I do it. I sit on my side of the bed and light some candles and recharge.

Be Prepared for Change

What recharges you will change from day-to-day. Some days I want to meditate and really center and focus myself. Other days, I want to relax with a good book that I can get lost in.

All of that is totally fine but you need to be prepared for it. Fill your mini mom oasis with the things that you love and can easily pull out when you want them.

Once you create a mini mom oasis for recharging, it’s important to make sure that you carve out time to use it. This is part of what we are focusing on with this entire series. We are working on prioritizing, setting healthy boundaries, and putting ourselves first. That means taking time to recharge and now you have exactly what you need to do it.

If you haven’t already checked out the posts about setting boundaries and carving out me time, I urge you to go back and read those before going further in the series. They really help set you up for success with everything else in your life.

See where I’m linking up!

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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

Can you sit there and truly say, “I love myself” without any caveats? If not, don’t feel bad. Not many SAHM can. Typically the statement goes more like, I love my kids, I love my family, I love my house… no self-love. Loving your family and your life are important, but you can’t know how powerful that love can really be until you find out how to love yourself first.

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”Stop taking the negative comments and put-downs as the value of your worth. Learn how to love yourself first and that no one else defines your worth!” username=”diyadulation”]

For a very long time, I didn’t love myself. I still struggle with self-love. Why? Because it’s not something that’s programmed into me. I have taken the years of negative comments, put-downs, and hatred as the value of my worth instead of realizing that no one else defines my worth but me.

Additionally, I didn’t realize that those few who spread that negativity around are truly the ones lacking. I live my life trying to be kind and life other people up. It’s an important core value. The people slinging insults and put-downs at me are saying something much more telling of their character than mine.

Minivan Analogy

So why does it affect us so much? I believe it is because we’ve never taken the time to discover our truth and take personal responsibility for our lives. If someone tells me that my minivan is a sports car, I wouldn’t take it personally or question whether or not my van is a sports car. No, I’d simply think, “Okay, you have fun believing that,” and go about my life.

Why? Because I know that my vehicle is, in fact, a black minivan and no amount of telling me otherwise will make it less true.

Imagine having that same confidence in your sense of self. The confidence of knowing your worth and your ownership no matter what others say to the contrary. That’s pretty powerful and it starts with personal responsibility.

Taking an Inventory of Wrongs

This is the first step to truly freeing yourself. Pull out your journal and write down every instance you can think of where someone wronged you. This can be a long or as short as you want. I do believe that if it is an experience or animosity that still tightens your stomach to this day, it definitely should go on the list.

Please note that this is not my original idea. It is something that is done at Al Anon to help family members. I was first exposed to it on Kate Anthony’s podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast. I cannot recommend enough that you listen to the episode about personal responsibility. Her example for this is truly brilliant and inspiring.

Own Your Part

After you have your list of wrongs, it’s time to think about what role you played in those events. Again, if you are struggling with this I totally recommend you listen to Kate’s podcast episode. After listening you’ll be convinced that if she can do it, anyone can.

Here are some examples from my own life to help you out, too:

Wrong:

When my parents got divorced, my mom started going out and partying a lot. I felt abandoned and unloved.

My Responsibility:

I never articulated these feelings to her at the time. I was angry, hurt, and depressed that she didn’t just know how much pain I was in. In addition to that, I also didn’t take any time or energy to think about it from her point of view.

Wrong:

I was once drugged and raped at a party.

My Responsibility:

I did not know the guy I went to the party with (he was a friend of a friend) and I didn’t know anyone at the party. I should not have even gone, let alone had anything to drink.

Note:

I want you to know that in this process, you are not absolving the people who hurt you of any wrongdoing. In my second example, that boy 100% committed a crime and it was/is not okay. However, I am also not without fault in the situation. That is the point you’re trying to get to with this exercise.

Determine Your Own Definition

Once you can honestly identify your personal responsibility in your life, you feel empowered. It truly sets you free so that you can define your own self-worth and do it with love and acceptance. Not one of us is perfect, but you always know when you’re being true to your core.

Take a moment to write down a glowing description of yourself. It can only be positive. Find at least one physical, personality, and cultural trait that you truly love about yourself without caveats. This is the time for self adulation because guess what: none of those things that have happened to you define you. They only served to shape you and to teach you. A life without mistakes isn’t a life.

As you go through the journey of rediscovery after marriage and motherhood, go back and add to your definition. Continue to add to it as you learn more about yourself. Use it as your tangible guide for how to love yourself first. Know that you are smart, funny, strong, powerful, independent, and capable no matter what anyone else tells you.

Calling a minivan a sports car doesn’t make it true and someone telling you that you’re something you’re not is the same way. As with all things, this strength, fortitude, and self love get stronger with practice. Know your truth and let go of your past.

See where I’m linking up!

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How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

Do you often catch yourself saying negative statements to and about yourself? What if there was a pretty tool that was not only beautiful to look at but also helped improve your self esteem? That is exactly what these DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards are!

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission. Read the full disclosure here.

[bctt tweet=”What if there was a tool that was beautiful and helped improve your self esteem? That is exactly what these DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards are!” username=”diyadulation”]

I am super guilty of talking badly to and about myself. Instead of focusing on any one of the amazing traits about me, I have always fixated on the flaws. Even offhand comments were destructive.

Have you ever asked a question that you knew the answer to and simply forgotten? When the person’s answer reminds you, what do you say. “Oh, I’m dumb, I knew that.”

Seriously? Would we talk about anyone else that way? I don’t think so. Something has to give.

I will talk more about how to shut down negative self talk later in the the series but we’re going to start on it today with these DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards.

What Are Positive Affirmations

There are many definitions of what positive affirmations are (especially since they can be so different person to person). Essentially they are phrases that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis that are meant to improve your self-talk, beliefs, and outlook. They can be used in a multitude of ways such as building confidence with people and improving work performance to name a few.

These DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards are meant to bolster your self-confidence and begin improving the way you speak to and about yourself. Read them every day to start truly cementing the beliefs you write down.

DIY Watercolor Positive AFfirmation Cards Materials

Artists Trading Cards
Watercolor Pencils
Water
Paintbrush
Permanent Marker

Step 1

First, remove your artists trading cards from their packaging. You can make as many positive affirmation cards as you want but I recommend no fewer than ten.

Step 2

Next, use your watercolor pencils to draw designs on your cards. These can be as simple or elaborate as you want. I’ve included multiple examples for you above to help with inspiration.

Step 3

After you’ve colored your cards, dip your brush in water and brush over your designs.

Note:

Only add water to one color at a time and rinse your brush between colors. Otherwise you will mix and muddy your colors.

Step 4

Once a design has been brushed with water, set it aside to dry. Continue until all of your cards are completed.

Step 5

After your cards have dried, it is time to add your positive affirmations. You can make these in fun fonts and scripts or simply write them neatly on each card. One affirmation goes on each card with permanent marker.

Note:

If you need help with positive affirmation ideas, I’ve included some below for you.

Positive Affirmation Ideas

Choose affirmations that align with where you want to improve your confidence, self-talk, or emotions. Again, don’t feel the need to use all of these, but choose at least 10 to get you started.

I am a strong and confident woman.
I’m full of energy.
I only speak to myself with love.
I am beautiful.
I’m successful.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve love.
My heart is filled with love and gratitude.
I love myself.
I’m a creative woman.
I am full of confidence.
I feel strong and healthy.
I’m intelligent.
I am motivated.
My life is full of abundance.
I deserve respect.
I love to smile and laugh.
I’m generous.
I let go of past hurt.
I have many talents.
I’m creating the life of my dreams.
I am confident in all situations.
I’m successful in everything that I do.
Trying new things excites me.
I have clarity in all of my decisions.
I deserve my dreams.
My health and wellness is a priority.
I’m a leader.
I speak in love and kindness.
I am productive and tackle tasks with purpose.

Once you have your DIY watercolor positive affirmation cards, don’t forget to pull them out once a day and read them. If you’re on the go a lot, I recommend putting them in your wallet so you always have them with you. Pull them out when you’re in the car at your kid’s practice waiting in the pick up line.

Also, if you find you have trouble remembering to read them daily, set an alarm on your phone. This can be in the morning or in the evening before bed, but set an alarm to remind you to read them. Lastly, I recommend reading them out loud to yourself if possible. There is something powerful about reading them while hearing them said aloud.

See where I’m linking up!

Don’t Forget to Pin It!

Create a Mini Mom Oasis for Recharging

Mom Time Outs

Create a Mini Mom Oasis

Small Space Option for Your Mini Mom Oasis

Keep It Clean

Be Prepared for Change

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

How to Love Yourself First | Rediscovery Mom Series

Minivan Analogy

Taking an Inventory of Wrongs

Own Your Part

Wrong:

My Responsibility:

Wrong:

My Responsibility:

Note:

Determine Your Own Definition

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series

DIY Watercolor Positive Affirmation Cards

What Are Positive Affirmations

DIY Watercolor Positive AFfirmation Cards Materials

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Note:

Step 4

Step 5

Note:

Positive Affirmation Ideas

How to Rediscover Yourself After Marriage and Motherhood Series