You Are Not Alone :: Hope for #MeToo Victims

Many of you have probably seen the #MeToo floating around social media. It’s important for the world to see how many women this affects. It is a sad and scary aspect of this world that is not localized to any specific country or socioeconomic status. It affects everyone. Letting people know isn’t enough. It will hopefully bring about lasting, sustainable change but it doesn’t help those women struggling now. Those women like me who have been so affected that we are broken. It has taken many years and lots of therapy to get to the woman I am now. Although this is incredibly difficult to share, my hope is that one woman can walk away from this post know that she is not alone and that she can heal. Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

**Trigger Warning**

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

 

[bctt tweet=”Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but also support those who have already been traumatically altered.” username=”diyadulation”]

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

A Bit of My Background

Some of you may already know that I grew up in an abusive home. What you may not know is that my view of women and worth has been skewed since birth. The nature of domestic violence often includes isolation as was the case for our family. That meant the most prevalent parameter I had was my mom. A woman who didn’t value herself coupled with a husband who didn’t value her either. She was a possession to be used and abused as he saw fit. That was my foundation of self-worth, or lack thereof. By the time my parents got divorced when I was 13, the damage was done. I had no idea how to be a strong woman with self-esteem and respect.

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Prominent Incident One

I learned as a teenager that boys and men alike would take what they wanted regardless of my thoughts and feelings. It started out small. When playing truth or dare, boys would dare me to strip and I would do it. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it. I mean, a dare is a dare, right? For the record, these weren’t the burnouts and delinquents I was hanging out with at the time. These were “good kids” who performed well in school or even went to expensive private schools. These were the kids that every parent hopes their children choose as friends. This was their idea of fun when it came to me.

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Prominent Incident Two

As my friend groups transitioned and time progressed I started partying. One night at a party we were drinking heavily and I passed out on a bed. I woke up later with a guy’s hand down my pants. I froze and pretended to be asleep because we were in a room full of people and I was scared, but I knew who it was. Eventually I rolled away from him and he stopped, leaving the room afterwards. I tried to muster the courage to say something to him Of course, I was only 14 and this guy was much older than me. He was beloved by a ton of people in my circle of friends. He was cool and fun. I was just an ignorant young freshman slut, right? So all I could manage to say to him was, “Next time, ask.”

[bctt tweet=”I felt so ashamed that I never pursued any further legal actions. #MeToo” username=”diyadulation”]

Unfortunately I couldn’t get over the incident. Shortly thereafter I confided in my friends about it. They encouraged me to file a report about it, so I did. When the girls found out that I had told him, “Next time, ask,” they slut-shamed me. Told me that if that was my response then he didn’t do anything wrong. They stopped being friends with me. I felt so ashamed that I never pursued any further legal actions.

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Prominent Incident Three

Fast forward to a year or so later. I am dressing in my bedroom. My mom’s boyfriend at the time comes downstairs to “check on me” (I cannot for the life of me remember what was wrong that prompted it). I’m standing there in nothing but a bra and jeans and he comes up behind me, asking if I’m okay. I’m uncomfortable but, at this point, my ingrained response is, “I am being oversensitive”. I smile and say, “Yeah”. He then begins kissing my neck at which point I pull away and scramble to put my shirt on. I find an excuse to leave and quickly do so.

I didn’t want to tell my mom because I knew it would break her hear and I had never seen her so in love. Unfortunately, I was a teenager and it eventually came out in an argument… not the opportune time. At that point in the argument we were both so angry that I had lost all credibility and she was beyond rationality. She swore that I was making it up to try and get out of trouble. Given my behavior at the time, I can’t say that I blame her.

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Prominent Incident Four

By the time I am 16, I have zero self-esteem and even less self-respect. Sex meant nothing to me. It was something that guys wanted that was occasionally fun. One night, a friend set me up on a blind date with a guy. He picks me up (I’m sure I was sneaking out of the house to see him) and takes me to a party in the middle of nowhere. At first it is a lot of fun. He seems nice, the people are cool, and there is a big warm bonfire. We are all laughing and having fun but then things start to get fuzzy. The last thing I remember is leaning against a tree talking to a few people while sipping from a solo cup.

Waking Up

The next thing I know, I woke up on a mattress on a floor, surrounded by people and light, with a blanket ripping off of my naked body. A girl is screaming at me and calling me names, telling me to get out of her house. I get up and see that there is blood everywhere because I was on my period. This enrages her further and she takes it all out on me, not even addressing the naked guy that was lying right next to me. All of the people are laughing or calling me names as she shoves me down her steps, out a door, and into her yard (the same yard that the party was taking place). She threw my clothes at me. I scrambled to get dressed, feeling confused and more than a little embarrassed.

[bctt tweet=”It was my fault for sneaking out. My fault for drinking. #MeToo” username=”diyadulation”]

Aftermath

I had no idea where I was or how to get home. This was before cell phones were prevalent and I didn’t own one. My only option was to allow my blind date, the guy that had just raped me, to take me home. I remember he actually was laughing and joking on the way to my house. I went straight to be when I got home. Then I cried until I fell into a nightmare-filled sleep. Not only had I snuck out of the house to go to the party but experience had taught me that there was no reason to tell anyone. It was my fault for sneaking out. My fault for drinking. It was my fault for being such a slut.

 

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Why Am I Sharing This

At this point you might be wondering where I am going with all of this. Why am I sharing these horrible events with you? Believe it or not, these are not even close to all of the abuses from guys that I have suffered. These are just the four that truly shaped me. However, I hope that there are a few things that you can learn from my mistakes.

[bctt tweet=”You need to educate your sons and daughters. Talk early and talk often. #MeToo” username=”diyadulation”]

Lessons and Takeaways

  1. No one is immune. I don’t care how affluent, well-behaved, or etcetera that your child is. You need to educate your sons and daughters. Let your sons know how to treat girls/women. Teach your daughters how to be strong and make intelligent, safe choices. Talk early and talk often.
  2. Women are just as culpable. Even as my social circles changed, not one female ever told me that any of the incidents that happened to me were wrong. When I shared what happened, it was turned back around on me. How can we expect men to treat us with respect if we don’t even treat each other with respect?
  3. You are worth it. If you don’t know your worth, as I didn’t, know that you matter. You are valuable. I don’t care if you’ve slept with 100 people or are still a virgin; your body is still yours. No one has the right to use, touch, or manipulate it without your permission. This can be a hard lesson to learn when you have already reached adulthood without learning it. Trust me, I am still learning it.

[bctt tweet=” If you’ve slept with 100 people or are still a virgin; your body is still yours. #MeToo” username=”diyadulation”]

Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

This is why the conversation that #MeToo sparks is so important. It lets us know that we are not alone. More people will be empowered the more that people speak up. Remember this: It doesn’t matter what you are wearing. It doesn’t matter how you are dancing. You should be able to flirt without fear of violation. It doesn’t matter how many shots you have had. It doesn’t even matter if you were making out. You have the right and, more importantly, the power to say “No.” You deserve to walk down the street without whistles and catcalls. You shouldn’t have to worry about a stranger coming up and grabbing your behind. Find that strength so that you can teach your daughter how to embrace her self-worth and her power. If you ever need a reminder, email me and I will remind you.

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Don’t stop sharing #MeToo but don’t forget to support those who have been traumatically altered by the experiences they have already had.

Save Money with these DIY Beauty Recipes + Merry Monday Link Party 164

One of the quickest and easiest ways for busy moms to relax and invest in me time is with beauty products. That relaxation is even more needed during the upcoming hectic back to school season. Unfortunately those beauty products that make us feel so pampered can cost big bucks. Add to that the guilt of spending that kind of money on yourself and you probably aren’t investing in them as frequently as you should. Now you can have the best of both worlds when you save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

 

[bctt tweet=”Invest in me time and save money with these DIY beauty recipes! #DIY #beauty” username=”diyadulation”]

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Homemade Natural Rose Petal Blush Recipe (Lina at Sew Historically)

This is absolutely incredible! Get a light and pretty pink tint for your cheeks easily with this DIY blush. The bonus is that you will know exactly what is in your makeup when you make it yourself which is awesome!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Pink Lemonade Sugar Scrub (Erin at Suburban Simplicity)

Make your body feel and smell fantastic with this easy (and pretty) pink lemonade sugar scrub. It will go great with the lip scrub below!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

DIY Raspberry Lemonade Sugar Lip Scrub (Jennifer at Busy Being Jennifer)

Get baby soft lips and enjoy a yummy smelling scrub with this awesome lip scrub!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Homemade Face Wash for Sensitive Skin (Jennie at Little Girl Designs)

This face wash is for sensitive skin but will work awesome on multiple skin types plus it’s easy to make. Win!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Blueberry Lemon Sugar Scrub (A Cultivated Nest)

Lemon adds a refreshing citrus take to this awesome sugar scrub. You’ll smell amazing all day!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Vanilla Homemade Lip Balm (Savanah at Midwest Modern Momma)

Can you ever really have enough lip balm? My wonderful kiddos are in the “slather it all over my lips… and face, and cheeks” phase so I am going through it faster than usual. This would be an awesome alternative to buying $4 tubes at the store!

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Blueberry Sugar Body Scrub (Jenny at The Jenny Evolution)

The color of this body scrub is gorgeous! Add that to the fact that you use dried blueberries and I’m in Heaven.

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Honey Oatmeal Homemade Face Mask (A Cultivated Nest)

Face masks are one of my favorites! Nothing makes you feel more refreshed than chilling out in the tub with a glass of wine and a face mask on. This one is easy to make and cleansing for those stressed-out momma pores.

 

Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

All of these DIY beauty products help you relax and save money easily. I’m super stoked about the raspberry lip scrub because I bet it smells amazing! Want more? Check out this DIY body glitter gel! It’s crazy easy to make and so pretty! Which one will you try first? Let me know in the comments after you link up at the Merry Monday Link Party below. I can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to. See you down there!

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Busy mommas need to relax and invest in me time. Now you can get your relaxation in and save money with these DIY beauty recipes.

Make Fitness a Habit with a DIY Daily Workout Sticks System

This month’s Create Your Future post is later than normal, as you may have noticed. The editorial calendar for this month is crazy packed, as noted by the fact that it is only the 8th and already this will be the 6th post brought to you. Crazy, I know, and it’s not slowing down any time soon. However, this one is worth the wait. Welcome to the first Create Your Future post with a tutorial! I can’t believe that we have been doing this for nearly a year and there hasn’t been the need for you to make something before now. Since you know how much I absolutely adore DIY (it’s kind of my thing) it is surprising. No more, though, because this month we are focusing on how to develop a fitness habit and this DIY daily workout sticks system is just the tool for the job!

Affiliate links may be used in this post. Ordering a product through these links may result in a commission at no extra cost to you. Read the full disclosure here.

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

 

[bctt tweet=”This #DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily #fitness routine!” username=”diyadulation”]

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Materials

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 1

Outline the end of a popsicle stick in the color of your choosing as pictured. I chose green for mine (as you will see in the photos).

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 2

Mark the edge of the stick at the bottom of your outline.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 3

Using the mark you made as a guide, outline the back side of your stick in the same way.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 4

Lastly, fill in the edges of the outlined area.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 5

Repeat steps 1 through 3 with the remaining 9 popsicle sticks.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 6

Next, write down an exercise (in the same color as your outline) and the number of reps to do on each stick. If you need some ideas, here are a few to get you started:

  • Crunches
  • Push-ups
  • Squats
  • Plank
  • Sit-Ups
  • V-sits
  • Jumping Jacks
  • Run the Stairs
  • Wall Sits
  • Lift Up Your Kiddos (one-handed like a curl or two-handed over your head)
  • Bicep Curls
  • Chair Dips
  • Lunges
  • Kettlebell Swing
  • Flutter Kicks
  • Side Plank
  • Step-Ups
  • Opposite Arm and Leg Raises
  • Walking Lunges

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 7

Now, write an “M” inside the outlines on each popsicle stick.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 8

Next, on the opposite end of the popsicle sticks repeat steps 1 through 3 in a second color. For this side, I chose pink.

Tip:

  • Use the previous outlines as a guide to measure as pictured above.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 9

Next draw an “E” in the outlined areas, again using the same color you outlined with.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 10

Lastly, write exercises and reps on the blank side of your popsicle sticks.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

Step 11

Put your daily workout sticks in a container “M” side up.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

How to Use Your Daily Workout Sticks System

Each morning start with your daily workout sticks “M” side up. Choose 3 and perform them as your morning workout. After you have finished put all of the sticks back in the container flipped to the “E” side. Then, in the afternoon or evening, choose 3 more for your second workout. Once you have finished, return them to the container and turn all of your sticks back to the “M” side for the next morning.

 

This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!

That’s all there is to the daily workout sticks system. These handy tools will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant. As you become more accustomed to working out you can increase the intensity by drawing more sticks for each workout. You can also do so by increasing the number of repetitions that you do of each exercise. This easy DIY truly grows with you as your strength and stamina increase. If you are looking for more ways to stay active check out 10 Ways to Fit in Fitness and, of course, don’t forget to grab your free habit tracker!

See where I’m linking up!

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This DIY daily workout sticks system will help you develop a daily fitness routine without the workout getting stagnant and they grow with you!