The Real Reason You Can’t Be a Stay-At-Home Mom

There are hundreds (possibly thousands) of articles out there telling you how you can be a SAHM but the hard truth is: it may not be the life for you. To help you decide, here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

Being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and the truth is, it's not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

 

[bctt tweet=”Being a #SAHM is not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.”]

As a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) you often hear how lucky you are to be “able” to stay home with your kids.  That statement is usually followed by, “I wish I could be a SAHM mom.”

These comments aren’t generally coming from a place of malice so when I would hear them I would simply smile politely or make some non-committal response.

Unfortunately, when you are a SAHM working your but off for your family, these statements can seriously piss you off no matter how well-intentioned. Why? Because being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and as with anything in life, if you want it bad enough then you will find a way to make it happen.

Being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and the truth is, it's not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

You Don’t know how to budget

Budgeting skills are essential to being a SAHM and living on one income. You need to know exactly where your money is going and why.

If you are cutting your income in half this skill is even more important. You have to know where all of your money goes before you can figure out where and how to cut back.

Work is the only time You spend outside the home

Being a SAHM can be incredibly lonely, especially when your kids are little. If you can’t think of a hobby you do outside of the home or if you are the first of your friends to have kids, chances are being a SAHM won’t work for you.

Taking care of yourself comes more naturally when you work outside the home. You get time during the commute to recharge with some tunes alone or you enjoy a lunch out with your coworkers.

Once you are a SAHM you have to be incredibly intentional about making the time to recharge and socialize.

 

Being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and the truth is, it's not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

You dread Cooking

Having meals at home is key to saving money, whether both parents work or not.

If you’re not willing to meal plan (sometimes having to plan how leftovers will be made into another meal) then stick with it, being a SAHM isn’t for you.

Even if you aren’t going to be at home, you still have to figure out a way to save money on food on the go.

You can’t say “no”

As a SAHM people assume that you have all of this free time. This leads to friends and family making more demands on your time.

Grandparents think that you can run an errand for them. Friends with kids always call you in a pinch. There will be no time that is truly respected as “Do Not Disturb” because it’s assumed that you are technically always available.

If you struggle with saying “no” and setting firm boundaries, then try to hone those skills before becoming a stay-at-home mom.

 

Being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and the truth is, it's not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

Perception is important to you

SAHM’s are under appreciated, under paid, and very akin to slave labor. Chances are, the people inside your home will never realize how much you do and the people outside of it will assume your life is easy.

If how people perceive you and your value is important to you, then a SAHM is not the job for you. It’s incredibly rewarding but also thankless. Which leads to the next reason you can’t be a stay-at-home mom below.

Being a SAHM is not easy

In fact, it is incredibly hard. When your kids are home all day, messes are made all day.

You are responsible for making every, single meal and serving snacks. That inevitably adds to your never-ending pile of dishes.

You fight to establish a routine and get incredibly mad when that routine is balked because it throws off your entire schedule and leads to cranky kids.

 

Being a stay-at-home mom is very much a choice and the truth is, it's not for everyone. Here are 8 reasons why you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

You aren’t a fan of late nights

As a SAHM, you will get less sleep than you did before. You’re forced to use the precious moments when kids are sleeping to get things done that you simply can’t focus on while they’re awake.

If you usually update your calendar, pay bills, and the myriad of other life tidbits at work, now you have to find time to fit them in.

You Love your current standard of living

This one is huge and, I would argue, is the number one reason you can’t be a stay-at-home mom.

If you aren’t willing to give up your cable television and morning latte then being a SAHM isn’t for you.

If you are living on 2 maxed out incomes, you can’t expect to go to one income and keep the same standard of living.

You have to prioritize and sometimes that means not even having Netflix and learning to make your own bread. If you’re not willing to live like that, you can’t be a SAHM.

Luck Has Nothing to Do With It

I wasn’t “lucky” to be a SAHM. In the beginning, I sacrificed like crazy and worked my tail off to be able to do so because I wanted it bad enough.

I learned to make a lot of our food from scratch like Poptarts, bread, sauces, and more. It was hard work to make but the ingredients are much cheaper and saved us a fortune on groceries.

All of our furniture and décor was hand-me-downs. Clothes and toys were either given to us, thrifted, or handmade by me.

I budgeted constantly and stretched every penny as far as it would go and then some. At one point, we were even down to one vehicle. These were the hard choices we made to live that lifestyle.

If you aren’t willing to live your life like that, then you can’t be a stay-at-home mom. Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with that. Working outside of the home doesn’t make you less of a mom.

Doing what you need to take care of you and take care of your family is the only true requirement of motherhood. That doesn’t always mean staying home with your kids. If that is you, own it.

Besides, that jealousy goes two ways. Sometimes that SAHM is envying your ability to get out of the house kid-free and be around adults every day.

See where I’m linking up!

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Resources to Help You Rock the SAHM Thing:

4 Tips to Get in the Holiday Spirit

The holidays are a magical time of joy and celebrations.  The season reminds of what’s important and encourages making more time for family.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t always respect that notion.  Whether you are dealing with money problems, sick children, or marriage troubles, sometimes it can be hard to get in the holiday spirit.  The stress and pain of your circumstances make it hard to put on the brave face and deck the halls.  If this is you this year, here are 4 tips to get in the holiday spirit.

 

Here are 4 tips to help you get in the holiday spirit if you're struggling to find cheer this year amidst existing life stress.

 

[bctt tweet=”Here are 4 tips to help you get in the #holiday #spirit if you’re struggling to find cheer this year amidst existing life stress.”]

 

Remember What the Season is About

First and foremost, you have been given the amazing gift of forgiveness through Christ.  That is the best gift that you could ever receive.  Sometimes when you are struggling it helps to remember this beautiful truth.  Secondly, if you have children it is important to remember that they don’t understand the issues going on in your life.  They do notice your mood and they will definitely notice if you’re having trouble not getting the tree up this year.

 

Here are 4 tips to help you get in the holiday spirit if you're struggling to find cheer this year amidst existing life stress.

Put up Your Decorations

It may be the last thing you feel like doing but it can be beneficial to force yourself to put up your decorations.  Having the décor surround you can actually help to lift your mood.  It can be especially beneficial to infuse comforting holiday scents that you enjoy.

To help make the process easier, get the kids involved.  True, your tree probably won’t have the meticulously designed look that it has when you do it but the creativity your kids will show can also help improve your spirits.  Trust me; there is something hilarious about a 7 foot tree decorated by kids less than 4 feet tall.  Your kids will also love having control over such an iconic part of your holidays.

Write It Out

Instead of sending out cards this year, write heartfelt letters to friends and family.  Don’t just give an update on your life and kids.  Focus on the recipient and write with the express intention of giving them joy during this sometimes stressful season.  Purposefully uplifting others also helps to boost your own mood.  It is an excellent way to spread joy and love whilst also benefiting you.

Another way to write it out is to use a free-form journal.  This is a great tool to help you work through pain, worry, and frustration that you may be feeling.  There are tips for how to use this journal on the tutorial but for this specific instance I recommend mutilating the page after you have written out your feelings.  Physically destroying the words you’ve written can be very cathartic and help you move on.

 

Here are 4 tips to help you get in the holiday spirit if you're struggling to find cheer this year amidst existing life stress.

Take a Personal Day

Once of the best things you can do for yourself during times of stress is to take a personal day.  Take a day off to do something that is completely unrelated to the holidays.  If you need ideas, here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • See a movie
  • Read a book you’ve been putting off
  • Get pampered at the spa
  • Get to the gym
  • Take a hike
  • Check out free classes being offered in your area

The most important thing to remember is to do it alone.  You may be tempted to ask a friend or your spouse but this will be most effective done on your own.  We are never truly ourselves until we are alone and it is important to have some alone time to recharge.

These 4 tips to get in the holiday spirit can help you turn your holiday around but also know that there is nothing wrong with you if you are struggling this year.  It is normal for the pressure of the holidays to exacerbate the issues that you are already facing.  If you are having a hard time, it is okay to take the time to mope and wallow (as long as you set a specific amount of time in which to do so).  Once you have, choose to fake it ‘til you make it, as they say.  This can be powerful and you will wake up one morning and realize you are not faking it anymore.

See where I’m linking up!

Invest in You First with the Military Spouse Wellness Summit

Invest in yourself with the first ever free, online Military Spouse Wellness Summit

We all know the importance of taking care of ourselves to be at our best for our families.  When it comes to actually doing this, however, we struggle with putting ourselves first.  It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and put our own needs on the back burner.  That is why I am an ambassador for the First Annual Military Spouse Wellness Summit.  I want to help you start putting your personal wellness as a top priority.  Want to know the best part?  This event is online and 100% free thanks to InDependent, The Army Wife Network, and The USAA Educational Foundation.

Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2015

What is the Military Spouse Wellness Summit?

It is a free online event that will give you access to 10 interviews with experts about health, nutrition, fitness, and finance.  These are all designed to help you be the best version of yourself each day.

Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2015

When and Where is the Summit?

The Summit begins Monday, October 19 and ends Friday, October 23 with a bonus day Saturday when they announce the big-prize winner!  Listen online! You can join up while on a walk enjoying the fall weather or tearing it up on the treadmill at the gym. The recordings will available during the week of the event (Oct. 19-24).

[bctt tweet=”Mark your calendars for the #MilSpouse Wellness Summit, October 19-23. It’s a free online event with gifts! @independent_org #MSWS15″]

What Do You Get When You Register?

EVERY REGISTERED participant receives a 1-year membership to Thrive Market (Retail Value $49) and a chance to win tons of PRIZES by MetLife Dental, MSB New Media, SpouseBox, Elva Publishing, QALO rings, Lucy Activewear, and many more.  Registration is easy!  Simply click on any of the pictures in this post or click here!

Bonus for DIY Adulation Readers

In support of this event I’m starting a new series exclusively for you to help promote your wellness in the weeks leading up to the Summit.  Check back on Monday for the first article, a tutorial for a DIY Yoga Mat Bag!  Join me and many others at the 2015 Military Spouse Wellness Summit and start putting your best foot forward every day!

Military Spouse Wellness Summit