On the release of the new Star Wars movie I was not one of the people lines up around the corner of the movie theater to wait for tickets to see the show. Instead, that evening I was out running errands to get things ready for little bit’s third birthday party taking place over the weekend. At one store, the cashier nodded to my shirt and asked if I had seen the new movie yet. In true oblivious form, I looked down at my shirt, confused, and realized I was wearing my awesome Hello Kitty Stormtrooper shirt (or I should say “one of them” because I actually own three).
I had a brief flash of chagrin as I looked up and quietly responded that I had not. I left out the part that I don’t actually have any plans to see it. The truth is that I’m just not really a big Star Wars fan (sorry, my amazing nerdy friends). I do like Clone Wars and I know enough about the classic movies to get references to the “Who Shot First” debate or to enjoy The Star Wars Cantina by Richard Cheese, but as for the movies themselves, I just don’t get into them. In fact, the only reason I own the shirt(s) is because I adore Hello Kitty and because I think Stormtroopers look cool.
The takeaway from a chick that hasn’t even seen the new #StarWars movie is that capes are impractical attire for heroes and villains alike. Click To Tweet
That is not to say that I didn’t give any thought to the hoopla surrounding the release. It’s kind of hard not to unless you live under a social media-free rock. However, the only takeaway from a chick that hasn’t even seen the movie (c’est moi) is this: Capes are impractical attire for heroes and villains alike. If you don’t believe me, here are 5 thoughts for you to ponder.
If you’re running away from someone, there is not an extra 2+ feet flying in back of you. Your pursuant can now grab your cape and take you down easier and with less exertion. How is that practical?
If you can fly you are adding extra wind resistance. Best case scenario, you’re slower in the air. Worst case, you can’t stay airborne with the added resistance dragging you down.
Remember those extra feet we talked about in impracticality one? Well, those extra feet can also get caught on things more easily. If you sweep authoritatively into a room only to get your cape caught in an airlock door, you have just lost your edge and your authority. It’s just not a good idea.
Even if the person you find yourself in battle with is unarmed, by wearing a cape you are giving the person a weapon. All he or she has to do is grab your cape and they can strangle you with it. Why would you choose to give them that advantage?
If you wear a cape your line of sight could be impeded at any moment by a gust of wind. Heck, it wouldn’t even have to be natural. Just a well-pointed fan toward your direction could do the same thing. If you’re tailing someone and you walk over a subway great, that person just got away because you were momentarily blinded by your cape. From a tactical standpoint, capes are just ridiculous.
Now that you have five thoughts to ponder over why capes are impractical attire, let me hear your thoughts. Should capes be banned for villains and superheroes? Or are capes an iconic staple in saving the world or taking it over? Let me know in the comments!
If you’re looking for a fun nerdy craft, check out these Glow-in-the-Dark TARDIS boxers! They are a quick and easy personalized gift.